Last night I spent three hours staring at a word processing document drawing nothing but blanks. Ideas weren’t the problem either – there are always thousands of potential stories floating haphazardly around my brain – the issue was character names; I couldn’t think of any. A phone call eventually brought an end to the void. It was my sister calling to inform me that a new member had just joined our family – Zalex Han Smith. I gave my congratulations and inquired into the child’s birth weight; a piece of information that would mean absolutely nothing to me. I avoided the obvious comment about my nephew’s name resembling that of a pharmaceutical manufacturer. After hanging up I began an investigation into the legal process of naming children. According to the national register certain Christian names, such as ‘Hitler’ and ‘Dickstick,’ are not permitted. I can understand government intervention here; although, it’s probably a little pointless; declining an application for the name ‘Cutthroat’ doesn’t mean the person who submitted it will be a good parent – the kid’s fucked regardless. The brief Internet search led to an interesting article about Venezuela. Their government has issued a list of names from which citizens cannot stray. Prior to this ruling some Venezuelans were taking things too far; people were walking around with names like Brittanyspears Lopez, Usnavy de la Fuente, and Spiderman Rodriquez. It really brought my current issue into perspective, not because of its trivial nature, but because of its relationship in content. It made me realise that, even without restrictive legislation, names are finite; Ideas on the other hand are absolutely limitless.