I’ve never really stood out at anything. I’m not
complaining; I’m actually quite good at most things I try (except pole-vaulting,
I really suck at that) but I’ve never noticeably excelled at anything. The
other day I was watching my girlfriend apply eyeliner in the back of a taxi; it
was amazing; it was the bumpiest ride of my life and she had absolutely no
trouble whatsoever. If she’s not the best in the world at applying eyeliner
under difficult conditions she would definitely be in the top three. She could
do it while jumping on a bouncy castle or sailing rough seas. Maybe I was
brilliant at something that I was just overlooking. I’ve always prided myself on
opening beer bottles; I can open a beer bottle with keys, pens, even doubled
over paper; unfortunately though, I wouldn’t be in the top three. I know
someone personally that is better at it than me; Mick can open beer bottles
with his teeth – two at a time! He would be right up there in world rankings.
Then it hit me – I am the best at sorting my cards into suite and number order
according to the game of 500. I amaze even myself at how quickly I can do it.
Even if your hand had been dealt in perfect order mine would be sorted first. I
guess everyone has their thing, and I was pretty happy that I’d worked mine
out. Michael Jordan might be a great basketball player but who’s better at
organising their cards? If MJ and I had a showdown where we both got to choose
an event we would finish one a piece every time. I just have to hope the
decider isn’t pole-vaulting.