After a devastating break-up Lachie really wasn’t ready for the dating scene. Walking in on your wife receiving oral sex from a dwarf isn’t something that leaves your memory in a hurry. Sitting at home alone for eight months didn't exactly help his self-esteem either. He had to do something. A work colleague convinced Lachie to go on a date with one of her friends. He’d settled for a moderately-priced restaurant on a Wednesday night; something informal to ease his way into it. At some point during dessert Lachie’s date snuck off to powder her nose. He had a quick scan around the restaurant to fill the void. At the table behind him, Lachie’s ex-wife was sitting alone with a crab bisque. He instantly felt better; she looked more dejected than ever – her face was screwed up as if in pain. ‘Serves the bitch right,’ Lachie thought. He turned back to enjoy the remainder of the evening with his new date. He even avoided glancing over at the ex-lover. Lachie collected the bill and thanked his date for the company. On their way out he saw the dwarf sneak out from under his ex-wive’s table. Sweat was beading from her forehead and she had a smile from ear to ear. His feeling of joy quickly departed.