I wrote a letter to the Justice Department regarding the
current process of handing down sentences. It basically suggested a change to
the current system. I think it’s quite obvious that grouping criminals in boring
detention centres is not the way to go. It advised a shift from pure imprisonment
to something more fun and creative. On top of deciding the verdict each jury
member would suggest a punishment. Judges would select their favourite from the
suggestions provided and hand down a sentence based around it. A serial killer
may be required to develop a cure for cancer or eradicate the AIDS virus before
they were released (the amount of people saved would at least outweigh the
initial number of victims.) A petty criminal may be subjected to something more
imaginative; their sentence may involve watching an episode of ‘SuperTed’ in
Welsh 173 times before their return to society. Things would be a lot more
interesting down at the courthouse; all the jury members would be trying to
outdo one another. I received a letter back from Justice Department about a
week later; it read:
To Whom It May Concern,
If you continue to waste the Justice Department’s time with your ludicrous suggestions you will be required to translate the bible into both Quenya and Sindarin.
Yours Sincerely,
The Justice Department
I looked up Quenya and Sindarin; they are both languages developed by J.R.R. Tolkien. I don’t know whether the Justice Department has gone ahead with my suggestion or if they were just taking the piss.
To Whom It May Concern,
If you continue to waste the Justice Department’s time with your ludicrous suggestions you will be required to translate the bible into both Quenya and Sindarin.
Yours Sincerely,
The Justice Department
I looked up Quenya and Sindarin; they are both languages developed by J.R.R. Tolkien. I don’t know whether the Justice Department has gone ahead with my suggestion or if they were just taking the piss.