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My brother has a friend who’s as straight as an arrow. He works as an accountant, makes regular additional contributions to his super, and spends more time looking at the share market than he does the opposite sex. I haven’t really met him but my brother says he’s got a theory on everything; I imagine he says things like: “invest when the market’s low,” and “buy the worst house on the best street,” but I don’t really know. The other day my brother’s friend was waiting for a bus when some bum walked by asking for money. My brother’s friend refused to give him anything; I assume he has a policy on giving to the homeless because of their tendency to spend everything on drugs and alcohol. For some reason the bum stopped for a chat anyway. He asked my brother’s friend where he was going and my brother’s friend told the bum he was off to get a haircut. The bum said that he hadn’t had a haircut in years so my brother’s friend invited him along. They said down in the upmarket hair salon and the stylist asked the bum how he would like his hair cut; the bum said he would like it cut in the same style as my brother’s friend. My brother’s friend protested - I guess he was worried that a bum with an executive-style haircut may struggle to raise money on the streets. They eventually came to a lengthier compromise. The stylist washed, cut and styled the bum’s stingy hair as my brother’s friend looked on. When the new hairstyle was unveiled to the bum he was shocked. After a few moments silence he simply said: “I look like an angel.”