I don’t mean to shoot down the world’s biggest sporting event days before it kicks off; to tell you the truth, I actually quite like the Olympics. Developed superpowers that invest millions into sporting institutions up against some of the poorest nations on earth – it’s such an accurate portrayal of the real world. One thing that annoys me though is the swimming section of the competition. Why are there different categories? Breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly; do we really need to know how quickly a specified distance can be covered according to stylistic rules? Why isn’t there simply a 100 meter swim? The faster person to the other end of the pool wins. You don’t see the 800 meter sprint divided into groups. We don’t need to know how fast people can travel on their hands and knees, running backwards, or reading the Koran. It would be ridiculous.