It wasn’t all that surprising that the world was taken over
by a superior life-form. I think everyone was really just waiting for it to
happen. What I found particularly surprising was just how similar the invading
forces were. They didn’t have green scaly skin or ten eyes; they looked exactly
like us. Some were tall, others were short, some were attractive, others were hideous;
the only thing they seemed to have in common with each other was that they all looked human. I had a
chat with the guard in the holding cell to see if I could find out more.
“What’s the story with you guys?” I asked.
“I’m not sure exactly what you mean,” replied the guard.
“Well,” I said, “you guys don’t seem that different to us. I always thought there would be other life-forms out there, you would be an idiot to think otherwise, but I imagined that the alien species would either be an insignificant bacteria or a vastly superior race. No offence.”
“Not at all,” he said, “I thought exactly the same thing. What’s the history of your species?”
“It’s a little contentious really. The planet’s been here about 4.5 billion years but life only began about three and a half billion years ago. We started off as single cells and over time evolved into what you see today.”
“That’s pretty much how we come about, except our evolution from single cells only took about a half a billion years.”
“And you’re more advanced than us; that’s strange,” I said. “My wife had this theory...”
“Wife? What’s a wife?” the guard interrupted.
“It’s the title granted to those who unite in love."
“Love? Never heard of it.”
“Well,” I began, “it’s difficult to explain. It’s not an exact science or anything. It really just a feeling or perceived sentiment.”
“Sounds ridiculous,” said the guard. “Maybe you guys have been wasting too much time on it. Perhaps that’s why you’re lagging.”
“What’s the story with you guys?” I asked.
“I’m not sure exactly what you mean,” replied the guard.
“Well,” I said, “you guys don’t seem that different to us. I always thought there would be other life-forms out there, you would be an idiot to think otherwise, but I imagined that the alien species would either be an insignificant bacteria or a vastly superior race. No offence.”
“Not at all,” he said, “I thought exactly the same thing. What’s the history of your species?”
“It’s a little contentious really. The planet’s been here about 4.5 billion years but life only began about three and a half billion years ago. We started off as single cells and over time evolved into what you see today.”
“That’s pretty much how we come about, except our evolution from single cells only took about a half a billion years.”
“And you’re more advanced than us; that’s strange,” I said. “My wife had this theory...”
“Wife? What’s a wife?” the guard interrupted.
“It’s the title granted to those who unite in love."
“Love? Never heard of it.”
“Well,” I began, “it’s difficult to explain. It’s not an exact science or anything. It really just a feeling or perceived sentiment.”
“Sounds ridiculous,” said the guard. “Maybe you guys have been wasting too much time on it. Perhaps that’s why you’re lagging.”