I’ve always had a bit of a beef with the cactus family. One of my first living memories is being spiked by a prickly pear; I can’t’ve been more than three years old. We've had a few incidents over the years but my biggest issue is with a product derived from the plant - tequila. Tequila simply knocks me off my feet. It actually turns me into a different human being, one I have absolutely no control over. A slight sip on a margarita is enough to ignite my alter-ego and erase any memory of the night. And for some reason, people are always eager to force the drink upon me, like my friend Lyron last week.
“I’m not drinking that,” I said, shaking my head at the shot of tequila that he’d placed in front of me. I told Lyron about my cactus history. “Even from a Warner Bros. sketch it seems to be giving me the finger,” I added.
Lyron was very understanding. “That’s Ok,” he said, before downing the extra shot. “I have the same issue with sugar. Rum just takes control.”
“Yeah, but what did sugar ever do to anyone?” I asked. “I can't imagine it giving a bad gesture.”
“Thanks to sugar plantations my entire ancestry was enslaved, I'm addicted to snickers, and I'm borderline obese.”
“I’m not drinking that,” I said, shaking my head at the shot of tequila that he’d placed in front of me. I told Lyron about my cactus history. “Even from a Warner Bros. sketch it seems to be giving me the finger,” I added.
Lyron was very understanding. “That’s Ok,” he said, before downing the extra shot. “I have the same issue with sugar. Rum just takes control.”
“Yeah, but what did sugar ever do to anyone?” I asked. “I can't imagine it giving a bad gesture.”
“Thanks to sugar plantations my entire ancestry was enslaved, I'm addicted to snickers, and I'm borderline obese.”