With about 150 thousand people arriving at the pearly gates each day, Saint Peter is pretty tired of explaining why each person is not allowed through. He generally speeds through a pre-prepared, all- encompassing speech to thousands at a time. Only on rare occasions will he single out an individual to explain the cause of rejection. John Lennon was one of the few exceptions. Saint Peter had been caught up in the Beatlemania of the sixties; he was as excited as a school girl to meet the man behind the movement. “Mr. Lennon, how lovely to meet you,” said Saint Peter as his idol arrived to the gates. “Please come this way.” John Lennon followed the saint into his office; they each took a seat on the comfortable visitors lounge.
“I’m sorry to have to tell you this John – you don’t mind if I call you John do you?”
“Not at all.”
“Unfortunately I’ve been given orders to deny you access to heaven.”
“I thought that might be the case,” replied John Lennon. “Is it because of the lyrics to Imagine?”
“Not at all; that was actually quite a hit up here. It’s because of your erratic, drug-influenced behaviour.”
“What do you mean?” asked John Lennon.
“I’ll show you a clip.” Saint Peter pointed his finger and a large screen dropped from the clouded roof of his office. “This is your reaction to a trainee design student.”
The clip shown was of a nervous young man walking into the Beatles’ studio. He hands John Lennon a copy of a proposed album cover. It was a flamboyant design with the title ‘Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.’ John Lennon inspected the picture briefly; he then picked up George Harrison’s guitar and used it to beat the trainee to within an inch of his life. “It was supposed to be ‘Sergeant Peppercorn and the Tale of the Amazing Trout,’” he shouted at the lifeless body.” George Harrison snatched back his guitar and said, “We agreed on the ‘Lonely Hearts Club Band,’ remember?” “Oh yeah, that’s right,” chuckled John.
“I’m sorry to have to tell you this John – you don’t mind if I call you John do you?”
“Not at all.”
“Unfortunately I’ve been given orders to deny you access to heaven.”
“I thought that might be the case,” replied John Lennon. “Is it because of the lyrics to Imagine?”
“Not at all; that was actually quite a hit up here. It’s because of your erratic, drug-influenced behaviour.”
“What do you mean?” asked John Lennon.
“I’ll show you a clip.” Saint Peter pointed his finger and a large screen dropped from the clouded roof of his office. “This is your reaction to a trainee design student.”
The clip shown was of a nervous young man walking into the Beatles’ studio. He hands John Lennon a copy of a proposed album cover. It was a flamboyant design with the title ‘Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.’ John Lennon inspected the picture briefly; he then picked up George Harrison’s guitar and used it to beat the trainee to within an inch of his life. “It was supposed to be ‘Sergeant Peppercorn and the Tale of the Amazing Trout,’” he shouted at the lifeless body.” George Harrison snatched back his guitar and said, “We agreed on the ‘Lonely Hearts Club Band,’ remember?” “Oh yeah, that’s right,” chuckled John.