Mikey is the biggest gambling fiend you’ll meet. He’ll bet on absolutely everything: sports, politics, music charts, and it isn’t just the standard odds he’s into; he’ll bet on the average height of a selected basketball team, the colour of a politician’s tie, or the total number of syllables in the top ten songs. I don’t understand his addiction to gambling at all; I’ve never seen him win. Last weekend a group of us were around his house having a drink. Someone suggested a game of poker but there wasn’t a deck of cards in the house. I put my hand up to run down to the corner store and grab some. “There won’t be any cards at that store,” Mikey said.
“Why not?” I asked.
“There just won’t,” he asserted. “I bet you a hundred dollars they don’t stock them.”
“I’m not betting a hundred dollars on that,” I said.
“Ok,” he said, “if they have a deck of cards I will just give you a hundred dollars.”
I was more than happy to take him up on the offer. What did I have to lose? Five minutes of my life? I walked in and asked the guy behind the counter if he had any playing cards. “Yes,” he said, enthusiastically, “and they’re on special.” I bought the deck and some beef jerky and went back to Mikey’s house. I gave the full account of my journey, emphasising the discount on my purchase. Mikey didn’t say a word, he just walked into his room and shot himself. I think he was fed up with his constant losing streak; he was going out on a win. A few years earlier he’d bet me ten to one that out of the two of us, he’d die first. I’d put ten dollars on the bet so I guess were even.
“Why not?” I asked.
“There just won’t,” he asserted. “I bet you a hundred dollars they don’t stock them.”
“I’m not betting a hundred dollars on that,” I said.
“Ok,” he said, “if they have a deck of cards I will just give you a hundred dollars.”
I was more than happy to take him up on the offer. What did I have to lose? Five minutes of my life? I walked in and asked the guy behind the counter if he had any playing cards. “Yes,” he said, enthusiastically, “and they’re on special.” I bought the deck and some beef jerky and went back to Mikey’s house. I gave the full account of my journey, emphasising the discount on my purchase. Mikey didn’t say a word, he just walked into his room and shot himself. I think he was fed up with his constant losing streak; he was going out on a win. A few years earlier he’d bet me ten to one that out of the two of us, he’d die first. I’d put ten dollars on the bet so I guess were even.