I’ve been walking dogs for a couple of months now. I don’t actually need the money; it’s just an excuse to get out of the house. The dogs are always friendly and happy; it can be a lot of fun. Unfortunately the owners are usually uptight and miserable. Every now and then there’ll be a hiccup and it really makes me worry. I once feed a poodle chicken thigh instead of turkey breast; I got a beagle in a fight with a stray; I even chipped the tooth of a German Sheppard while trying to pry a stick from its jaw. I’ve lost countless hours sleep agonizing over a completely stress-free job. Yesterday I took the whole thing to a new level. I lost a Labrador. Yes, lost a Labrador. And you know what? It didn’t worry me in the least. There was simply nothing I could do. So, I guess, if you’re going to fuck something up, do it properly. If you’re a farmer, destroy a crop; if you’re a surgeon, lose a patient; if you’re a police officer, shoot a bystander. You’ll save yourself a lot of angst.