Until Peter started work at Burchell, Stokes, and Ward he had always enjoyed his birthday. It was now his least favourite day of the year. Not only did they make you purchase your own cake, they insisted on sending a card around the office for everyone to sign. At around 10:30 Jenny from accounts arrived with an exaggerated smile and a Snoopy-themed birthday card. Peter exchanged some feigned excitement for the scrap piece of paper. Later that day he scanned the comments; it was the same bullshit scribbled 23 times: Happy Birthday, Congratulations, sign name. For some reason one of the signatures caught his attention; it wasn’t particularly legible but Peter could clearly make out the words ‘Fuck You.’ He looked at the others: ‘Eat a Dick,’ ‘Sweaty Balls,’ and even ‘Ass Ramming.’ Not one person in the office had signed their name.