_The creator of life returned to earth last week. He didn’t visit in any official capacity; he had just returned to see how things were going. You could tell it wasn’t a formal trip because he was dressed like a gardener; he even had a big straw hat and a nametag that said Barry. I was expecting the creator of life to look a little different. He had a long grey beard and looked pretty strong for an old guy, but other than that he was not at all what I’d expected. He came into my café and asked for a strong latté with three sugars. ‘Fuck,’ I thought, ‘that’s going to be one sweet coffee.’ While I was preparing his order I asked him how his day had been. “Fantastic,” he replied, “It’s amazing what you’ve done with the place.”
“Thanks,” I said; “I just had the floorboards polished, but I’d like to install a skylight.”
“Yeah, that would be nice,” he said, “but I’m actually talking about the planet more generally. You guys have done a fantastic job.”
I thought about earth’s pollutions problems, our manmade disasters, and the excessive advertising material, but in my line of work it’s easier just to agree with people. “How did it look before?” I asked.
“Earth was a desolate place when I planted the first single-celled organisms here,” he said. “I’ve been to a few other planets where the life I’ve planted has taken off but never anything like this. I’ve never seen skyscrapers or aircrafts before.”
“That’s interesting.”
“I know it doesn’t seem that impressive to you but for me it’s amazing. I guess it’s just what you’re used to. My people have always understood evolution but the manipulation and development of a planet’s elements is new to us. I guess it’s the other way round for you. But let me ask you honestly; what’s more impressive: the construction of a tunnel under the English Channel, or the existence of that tiny ant?” he asked, pointing to the ant on the counter.
I was flabbergasted; absolutely speechless. We’d never had ants before.
“Thanks,” I said; “I just had the floorboards polished, but I’d like to install a skylight.”
“Yeah, that would be nice,” he said, “but I’m actually talking about the planet more generally. You guys have done a fantastic job.”
I thought about earth’s pollutions problems, our manmade disasters, and the excessive advertising material, but in my line of work it’s easier just to agree with people. “How did it look before?” I asked.
“Earth was a desolate place when I planted the first single-celled organisms here,” he said. “I’ve been to a few other planets where the life I’ve planted has taken off but never anything like this. I’ve never seen skyscrapers or aircrafts before.”
“That’s interesting.”
“I know it doesn’t seem that impressive to you but for me it’s amazing. I guess it’s just what you’re used to. My people have always understood evolution but the manipulation and development of a planet’s elements is new to us. I guess it’s the other way round for you. But let me ask you honestly; what’s more impressive: the construction of a tunnel under the English Channel, or the existence of that tiny ant?” he asked, pointing to the ant on the counter.
I was flabbergasted; absolutely speechless. We’d never had ants before.