My brother called last night to relate his theory on bus seating. I don’t know why he chose me – I hate public transport. Regardless, in far too much detail, he suggested that age dictates one’s position on the vehicle. ‘Children gravitate towards the back, middle-aged occupy the centre, and elderly take the front,’ he said. It was an interesting thought, and, from my limited experience, completely accurate. This morning, having nothing better to do, I set out to test the theory. I hailed a passing bus, handed the driver a couple of coins, and took the seat directly behind him. I was surprised at the lack of restrictive force field or security – I sat without incident or discomfort. The world failed to collapse in on itself and I traversed the city without interruption. It seemed the trend was a social norm rather than scientific rule. Slightly disappointed I rang the bell; I was ready to disembark. As stepped from the vehicle my hip gave way and I fell to the ground. Lying in agony I looked up at my reflection in the bus window – I had aged about 60 years.