I went round to John’s house a few months ago and he was carving his name into planks of wood. There were about 30 leaning against the wall in his living-room. They were all professionally crafted and some were even painted in a dull forest green. I obviously asked him what was behind the project. He said that he’d walked passed no fewer than 50 nameless parks in the city. He was going to install the signs in anonymous grassed areas and await their appearance on google. It was an interesting idea. I completely forgot about the whole thing as soon as I left his house – he’s always cooking up some scheme or other. He called me earlier today and told me to search for his name on googlemaps. There were 33 listings. John Patrick Fitzgerald is now the most celebrated man in a city of almost five million – and his only contribution to this world is signposting his own name.